What Really Matters During The Holidays -- Does The Question Feel Like A Cliche?

Yes, yes, we all know that the true meaning of the holidays - of Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa - is peace and togetherness and believing that the world can be a better place.  For children, it's a wonderful time of magic and miracles. 

Once we're adults though, the holidays can feel like one big to-do list.  And an extra ten pounds to lose in January.  And weird baggage from our own childhood creeping in.  And the national and world news not being peaceful at all.  And so much pressure to buy and consume more stuff. 

So what to do?  

Here are six quick ideas to increase your peace during this rush-rush time. 

1. Stop.  Breathe and get back into your body. Inhale and exhale slowly for 10 breaths, saying to yourself, "I'm at peace.", or "All is well." or "Peace on Earth". Notice how you will naturally reach a peaceful place inside yourself.  It's physiological, and it really does help. You can access this peace at any time - even ina mile-long line for Santa. 

2. Go outside.  The stars are always clearer when it's cold.  Go outside, even for a moment.  Or plan some outdoor activities.  If you're dressed properly, you can handle almost any temperature, and if you're lucky to live somewhere tropical like me, there will be plenty of sunny December days with flowers blooming! 

3. Get your holiday finances back in order.  Here's a blog post I wrote last year about holiday money traps and how to avoid them - enjoy and remember that it's actually not about the stuff. Click here to read. 

4. Get spiritual. What connects you best to spirit during the holidays?  Worship services?  Holiday music? Quiet contemplative time alone?  Prayer? Candles?  Gratitude journaling?  Meditation? Allow yourself spiritual time in whatever way is most meaningful to you. 

5. Give.  It always feels AMAZING to give - to volunteer your time, donate to a food bank, or choose gifts for a needy child.  

I believe we can ditch the commercialism, the over-doing it, the exhaustion of too much, and instead enjoy the spirit of peace and connection that we crave.  I hope you'll join me in celebrating and savoring a wonderfully wild and precious holiday season! 

Happy, happy holidays!

Six choices to live more Wild and Precious

I used to have a poster in my classroom when I was an 8th grade teacher – it was my favorite. It said, “Who runs your life? You do! You choose: your friends, your attitude, your goals, your dreams - It’s your life – make it a good one!”   I guess I had life coach tendencies even way back then! I referred to that poster all the time.

Check out this blurry version of the poster blown up from a snapshot I found of my former classroom.

That poster is right.  You choose.  Try these six choices to live more wild and precious and see what you think!

1. Choose what you really love, and don't skip it, no matter what. I love sitting in the grass, restoring my mind and spirit in nature, so I make sure it happens. Even if it’s a quick break in the grass in the front yard, I don’t skip it. I’ve taken to stopping by the Mississippi River on my way home from meetings just for a few minutes. It makes my day feel more delicious and expansive. I coach my local clients outside whenever I can so we can both soak in the grounding and healing power of the natural environment.   What do you most love? What would you do if you had a completely free day? Put a little taste of that in your every day.

Willows by the Mississippi River.

2. Choose what you want to learn, and practice a little every day. I’m still learning a ton about dancing, so I attend dance class every week. Even though it still takes me forever to internalize the steps, I’m getting better! I also love reading new books or taking classes about self-help, coaching, and all kinds of other topics. What do you want to learn more about? What skill do you want to develop? Make sure you carve out time for that regularly.

3. Choose to be spontaneous whenever you can. – This is my favorite! Recently I was invited with less than 24 hours notice to go with a group of women to the Black Pot Festival, a Cajun dance, music, food and camping event a couple of hours away. My first reaction was, “I can’t do that –  I have so much work to catch up on!” Then I thought, “Wild and Precious, Wild and Precious!” I realized I could easily pack a tent and some clothes and have an amazing 24 hour vacation with tons of dancing, music, campfires and camaraderie! That’s when the idea for this Wild and Precious post was born.We made a silly “Wild and Precious” rap, sung to the tune of “Black and Yellow.” We created a Wild and Precious hand sign like people used to do with sorority letters back in college. We danced and played and stayed up until all hours.

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On another weekend recently, a small group of us headed to Ship Island, but it was blowing too hard and the ferry wasn’t running. Rather than scrap the trip, we made a quick decision to keep driving east, almost all the way to Florida! We had an amazing day at the beach – maybe even better than if we had been able to stick with our original plan.

Wild and Precious at the Beach!

When a fun opportunity comes up, do you get practical and skip it? Or do you choose to see if you can embrace the chance for something different? Try choosing spontaneity!

4. Choose to check out when you need a break. At heart, I’m an introvert. I need quiet time, and time to recharge. I like time to nap or stare out the window. So sometimes I need to say no to fun opportunities that come up and stay home and enjoy being by myself. You know yourself best. Pay attention to your body and see what it really wants – time to be adventurous or time to cocoon?

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5. Choose real relationships over digital ones, always, (and what feels good over what looks good.) In this social media era, you can easily find yourself caught up interacting with some online post instead of the person in the room with you, or imagining how to turn what’s happening into a pretty Instagram pic or Facebook post. But that’s never really the point. My most recent example of this was Halloween. Even though we live in New Orleans, ground zero for Halloween festivities, and Halloween was on a Friday night, we decided to lay pretty low. No big costumes or parties for us. We rode our bikes to our friends’ house, chatted and enjoyed tortilla soup, admired some spooky decorations in the neighborhood, and headed to bed early. It was perfect. It didn’t make for scintillating social media updates, and that was just fine.   Most of us desire deep meaningful connection and we have to consciously disconnect from the pull of our computers, tablets and phones to do that.

We skipped the crowds like on this packed to the gills streetcar heading downtown!

6. Choose self-care without fail. For me, this means a lot of #4. Rest. Naps. Unscheduled unstructured time. I crave that! It also means preparing and eating delicious healthy foods. Decide what self-care looks like for you. Prioritize it. It’s really hard to live your wild and precious life when you are hungry, stressed and exhausted!

The big idea: living your wild and precious life requires paying attention to what you really want and need, moment to moment. Just like the poster in my old classroom said, It’s your life! You choose. Make it a good one!

Share your own wild and precious tips in the comments, or use the tag, #wildandprecious to share examples of how you live your wild and precious life! We’re all different and I’d love to hear what makes your life wild and precious!

Mountains, Money And Meditation

So a funny thing happened yesterday while I was on the airplane heading home from Montana.   

I was all serene.  I had passed on $600 in flight vouchers to stay in Salt Lake City overnight, as they'd overbooked the flight, but I decided I'd rather get home, see my sweetheart and kittens and get back into my routine.  I would have had to switch my schedule, rebook clients - I decided to trust that I will always have what I need to fly where I want.  I was ready to dig into the addictive novel I was reading (Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty - I liked it!)  

And I looked at the person next to me and she was texting (in very large print - I didn't mean to snoop) about how horrible that she was in the back of the plane and it would probably be an extra 15 minutes for her to get off.  Complain-texting. 

I thought, "Huh."  Never occurred to me to complain about that.  And in that moment, I realized I'd been on a four day reunion with over 20 people of all ages - second generation included - couples, kids, tons of people and logistics for rides, showers, meals - and not once had it occurred to me to complain.  I had been so happy to see these folks, some who I hadn't seen in five years, some I hadn't seen in ten, so grateful for all of the wonderful meals prepared and shared, so grateful for the hikes to hot springs, the views of mountains, the tame deer in the neighborhood, and mostly the wonderful connections with these incredible individuals who I spent a college semester with in Kenya 26 years ago. I don't think anyone else complained either!  (Well maybe the teen/tween kids got a little antsy here and there...) 

I'm not always super-serene.  But when I am, it feels amazing.  And I think 20 days of leading compassion meditations this past month has certainly helped.  If you somehow missed this and would like to have access to the folder with 20 beautiful compassion talks/meditations - each one about 15-20 minutes long, all you need to do is reply to this email and I'll send you the link.  If you were in the group I posted the folder link to our group - so you can grab it there - or email me and I'll send you the link too! 

I've had multiple messages from and conversations with participants who said the talks and meditations made a significant difference for them.  I would love for them to make a difference for you too.  We all need more compassion, more peace.  Just email me if you want the link to the folder.  It's a gift from me (with an option to invest a little $$ if you're more likely to use something you actually buy. Only if you want.)   

Not so sure about meditation? You don't have to be a meditation expert.  I do a lot of walking you through breathing exercises or visualizing techniques so you don't have to just sit quietly for too long. 

And mountains.  I saw them, hiked in them a little, flew over them.  Dusted with first snow.  Hiding hot springs.  Covered in golden aspens.  Magical. I couldn't smell so well - I had a little bit of a cold.  (I forgot to complain about that too!)  But every once in a while a whiff of ponderosa or mossy leafy goodness would sneak into my stuffy nostrils and overwhelm me with happy gratitude.  Yum! 

I've Been Doing Everything Wrong...

I have been doing everything wrong. I haven't been sending email newsletters to share with my people what's happening.  I regularly ignore my Facebook business page for days at a time.  I haven't asked for testimonials from the incredible group of amazing clients I've been working with in recent months.  Instead of sharing about my coaching on social media, I mostly post images of flowers, cats, birds, sky and trees.  I haven't been to Pinterest in at least a month.  My Twitter feed is a ridiculous string of posts forwarded from other places like Instagram, and the only people who ever follow me (and then unfollow quickly when I don't follow them) seem to be those who are looking to build their own list of followers.  I don't do a darn thing on Linked In aside from accept connections.   I let my regular blog schedule be a mild suggestion and then I don't follow it. 

My mind regularly tells me I'm screwing it all up.  And then I feel even more awful because, hey, I'm a LIFE COACH for goodness sake - I'm supposed to be able to manufacture joy, happiness and balance out of thin air with my magical coaching wand! So I'm not allowed to feel overwhelmed or like I'm not doing enough - that's just wrong. 

Yes folks, even I, educated in the masterful ways of coaching, have to deal with this crazy-making from my mind. And I have to (if I choose to) maintain my own mental hygiene. 

So here's how mental hygiene works:  Try it along at home! 

The Crappy thought:  I have been doing everything wrong. 

Question the truth of the thought:  Is it true?  Hmm - yes?  Can I be absolutely sure it's true?  Well, no, maybe not. 

How do I feel when I believe it?  Like a terrible business person, a terrible coach, a terrible human.  Anxious.  Worried.  Tight and nervous in my body.  Like running away.  Total fight or flight.  What do I do when I believe it?  I abandon things, I hide, I avoid anything I can avoid.  What does this thought keep me from noticing?  Everything that I'm doing right - and there's a lot of it, people! 

What if I didn't believe the thought?  What would that be like?  Hmm - I would feel much better.  I would enjoy my days.  I would trust that what I'm doing is more than enough. 

So what's the opposite of "I'm doing everything wrong? 

I'm doing everything right.    I've Been Doing Everything Wrong...

Are there any ways that might be true? 

Well, yes, as a matter of fact! 

I've had more coaching clients in the first half of 2014 than ever before. 

I'm serving my clients in amazing ways and my client roster is nearly full! 

I love love love coaching and I'm doing plenty of it! 

My Meetup events are fun, successful and inspiring! 

I have a speaking gig lined up in August, all about finding joy! 

I presented at a wonderful hiking conference in June, and served some wonderful hiking clients at the same time! 

I'm co-leading an incredible workshop at the end of the month with my yoga teacher, we've hardly promoted it and it's full with a waiting list! (We will offer this again!) 

I was on TV again! click here to watch the spot! 

I am having an awesome time when I'm not coaching too - savoring summer, going on trips with my sweetheart, eating delicious local food, dancing (including a fun 80s night complete with limo - see pic below), and more! 

I have a ticket to Burning Man, something I've dreamed of going to for years and years! 

- and goodness, so much more. 

Hmm - is it possible that "I'm doing everything right" is as true or truer?   By jeepers,  absolutely!  

And I can always do a little more with social media in the upcoming days, but not doing it isn't getting in the way of my happiness or success.  That's great to know! So what are you doing completely wrong that's working just fine? Where has your mind convinced you that something needs to be different when maybe it doesn't?  How much more energy would you have to enjoy life and do good work in the world without believing your negative thoughts? 

I would love to hear.  And if you're having trouble maintaining your own mental hygiene, get in touch and I'll help you.  You need to clean up your thoughts just like you take care of your teeth or your car or your laundry.  Regularly. 

Play life.

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This photo is from a dance event earlier this month, at the Creole Tomato Festival in New Orleans.  That's me in the white top, blue skirt and polka-dotted scarf. I love two things about this photo - my happy, relaxed expression (caught mid-clap) and the Louis Armstrong quote in the background: "What we play is life."  I imagine he was talking about jazz, but I love the quote as applied to everything:  "What we play is life."  Yes.  Louis was using the word "play" as in "play an instrument", but you could as easily use the word "play" as in "enjoy, have fun, laugh, romp, etc." What we play is life.  This is it.  In all of its beautiful, intricate amazingness.  I feel like our purpose in this round on the planet is to do that.  Play life.  Show up and be present.  Taste the ice cream while we eat it.  See the person in front of us.  Practice, practice, practice, and then dance, dance, dance!

And when we ease up and show up, things work out beautifully.  I love this picture too because I've been practicing this dance on and off for months.  The first times I performed it, I missed steps, I thought so hard, I was tense and stiff and very un-relaxed.  I struggled to smile; I was concentrating and counting so hard. Each time I performed, though, it got better.  In this photo, I'm breathing and dancing at the same time.  Relaxed and present.  Playing life.  Even better, afterward at a meal with fellow dance mates, I unexpectedly landed a speaking gig.  I was just showing up, having fun, unworrried, ungrasp-y, and opportunity fell into my lap.

This is the era of distraction. Of doing a dozen things at once.  Of FOMO (fear of missing out) and "compare and despair".  There are a million different ways to stop paying attention to what's truly in front of you.  There are a zillion things to worry about.  There are so many details you could lose your mind - like when you first learn a dance and can't ever imagine keeping track of all that complexity.

But it doesn't have to be that way.  It's summer.  And that means time to slow down.  To savor.  To really "play" life. What might happen for you if you back off on control, engage your senses and enter the moment openly and with curiosity?  Or if you focus on that one important thing and make some real headway so you can finally relax and enjoy?  How would that feel?

Need some help savoring, or getting focused on getting that one thing done this summer?  Check out Pie in the Sky, my quick and fantastic summer class that will teach you how to savor summer and get some stuff done, too!  It's all recorded and ready to go for you, with lots of goodies!  Spend just one hour and gain tons of savoring ideas. Details here.