I have been doing everything wrong. I haven't been sending email newsletters to share with my people what's happening. I regularly ignore my Facebook business page for days at a time. I haven't asked for testimonials from the incredible group of amazing clients I've been working with in recent months. Instead of sharing about my coaching on social media, I mostly post images of flowers, cats, birds, sky and trees. I haven't been to Pinterest in at least a month. My Twitter feed is a ridiculous string of posts forwarded from other places like Instagram, and the only people who ever follow me (and then unfollow quickly when I don't follow them) seem to be those who are looking to build their own list of followers. I don't do a darn thing on Linked In aside from accept connections. I let my regular blog schedule be a mild suggestion and then I don't follow it.
My mind regularly tells me I'm screwing it all up. And then I feel even more awful because, hey, I'm a LIFE COACH for goodness sake - I'm supposed to be able to manufacture joy, happiness and balance out of thin air with my magical coaching wand! So I'm not allowed to feel overwhelmed or like I'm not doing enough - that's just wrong.
Yes folks, even I, educated in the masterful ways of coaching, have to deal with this crazy-making from my mind. And I have to (if I choose to) maintain my own mental hygiene.
So here's how mental hygiene works: Try it along at home!
The Crappy thought: I have been doing everything wrong.
Question the truth of the thought: Is it true? Hmm - yes? Can I be absolutely sure it's true? Well, no, maybe not.
How do I feel when I believe it? Like a terrible business person, a terrible coach, a terrible human. Anxious. Worried. Tight and nervous in my body. Like running away. Total fight or flight. What do I do when I believe it? I abandon things, I hide, I avoid anything I can avoid. What does this thought keep me from noticing? Everything that I'm doing right - and there's a lot of it, people!
What if I didn't believe the thought? What would that be like? Hmm - I would feel much better. I would enjoy my days. I would trust that what I'm doing is more than enough.
So what's the opposite of "I'm doing everything wrong?
I'm doing everything right. I've Been Doing Everything Wrong...
Are there any ways that might be true?
Well, yes, as a matter of fact!
I've had more coaching clients in the first half of 2014 than ever before.
I'm serving my clients in amazing ways and my client roster is nearly full!
I love love love coaching and I'm doing plenty of it!
My Meetup events are fun, successful and inspiring!
I have a speaking gig lined up in August, all about finding joy!
I presented at a wonderful hiking conference in June, and served some wonderful hiking clients at the same time!
I'm co-leading an incredible workshop at the end of the month with my yoga teacher, we've hardly promoted it and it's full with a waiting list! (We will offer this again!)
I was on TV again! click here to watch the spot!
I am having an awesome time when I'm not coaching too - savoring summer, going on trips with my sweetheart, eating delicious local food, dancing (including a fun 80s night complete with limo - see pic below), and more!
I have a ticket to Burning Man, something I've dreamed of going to for years and years!
- and goodness, so much more.
Hmm - is it possible that "I'm doing everything right" is as true or truer? By jeepers, absolutely!
And I can always do a little more with social media in the upcoming days, but not doing it isn't getting in the way of my happiness or success. That's great to know! So what are you doing completely wrong that's working just fine? Where has your mind convinced you that something needs to be different when maybe it doesn't? How much more energy would you have to enjoy life and do good work in the world without believing your negative thoughts?
I would love to hear. And if you're having trouble maintaining your own mental hygiene, get in touch and I'll help you. You need to clean up your thoughts just like you take care of your teeth or your car or your laundry. Regularly.