6 Ways To Live More Wild And Precious, And They Don't Require Shopping...
More Wild and Precious!
Oh my goodness - it's December - last month of 2014! You want to embrace life fully. You want to do and be all those amazing things you see online, on TV, in books or magazines, in the inspirational quotes in your friends' news feeds.
But life sometimes gets in the way. Sometimes you're just tired. Maybe you don't like your job. Or you struggle with kids or relatives. Or you're scared to take that big step and make a major change.
I totally get it. I've made it my top priority to live my wild and precious life, and I still get scared, overwhelmed and tired.
I put together a simple list of what I've been doing to live more wild and precious, and none of it requires holiday shopping! If you need a break from all the emails about sales and discounts that make you feel like you're missing out, click here for a spot of clarity and a reminder of what's truly important. Bonus! Learn the story of our wild and precious chant and spontaneous W&P hand sign! And our hashtag #wildandprecious!
What's inspiring me - Going solar and getting insulated!
As a green business owner with LIfeCity, I've made it a priority this year to make our 1800s home more energy-efficient. And it feels amazing to do it! We now have solar panels (through Joule Solar) and we're about to get our raised home's wood floors insulated, which is super-exciting because when it's cold out, our current floors are about ten degrees higher than the temperature outside, so that makes for a chilly house! We also have a new Nest thermostat - it's so smart it's like there's a person handling our heating and cooling all the time. We can adjust the temperature from our phones if we want- amazing!
If you really want to live green, you need to look at the energy efficiency of your dwelling. It's not glamorous and it takes some investment and work at the front end, but once it's done it's done and then you see big benefits quickly. So if you've been putting off going green in this area like we did, consider making it a priority. I am so looking forward to non-freezing floors! (Links are not affiliates - but I wish they were! )
Inspiration For Your Path - connecting with your soul, positivity that works, and prioritizing self-care.
I just finished reading The Untethered
And if you'd like a quick lesson on creating affirmations that really work, check out my recent spot on The 504 TV show with Sheba Turk, and see how we have fun with lemons.Click here to watch!
http://www.wwltv.com/videos/news/local/my-54/2014/11/12/18932905/
Happy December, take care of you, and don't forget to notice the sky and the flowers! Wild and precious, wild and precious!
Spinning, Sauntering, Stuck, Still: How to tell if you're doing enough.
Are you doing enough? Recently I've heard so many people - clients, fellow coaches, friends, me sometimes - despairing that they aren't doing enough. They aren't as awesome as their peers. Or as some internal ideal. Everyone else is so much more PRODUCTIVE. I've been reading books like Today Matters and Die Empty, which are inspiring and motivating and remind us to get off our butts and do something - to stop hemming and hawing and just go... But these books don't actually tell you to "just go." Because just going isn't necessarily what you need to do. There are two kinds of "just going". The first is desperate going so you can say you're moving. So you don't have to feel like you're being too much of a lump. So you can jog along and say, "See? I'm doing something!" It feels jangly. It feels electric, but in an uncomfortable, static-y way. It feels like too much caffeine. It feels like an out of control spring, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing. It feels frantic. Sometimes it feels aimless - either like a hamster running in a wheel or like a pinball ricocheting off of lots of light-up bumpers, racking up "points" but getting nowhere. Let's call this kind "spinning." Spinning can feel exhilarating at first, but it quickly devolves into unfulfilled exhaustion.
The second kind of "just going" feels fresh and adventurous. Maybe there's a slight tinge of fear, but it's more like anticipation. It feels solid and grounded but light at the same time. Like setting out on a hike on a sparkling summer morning. Or picking up a paintbrush and beginning to cover a canvas with color. It feels like possibility. It feels creative and it feels fun. It's connected to something bigger. Let's call this kind "Sauntering". Sauntering is moving forward but without hurry or stress - in a relaxed, but purposeful manner. Not frantic and fast, but at a comfortable pace.
What about not going, you ask? When does that make sense? Is it always time to move?
Not necessarily. There are two kinds of "not going" too. The first kind is fear-based. It feels frozen, heavy and scared. It feels cut off. It feels like peanut butter on the roof of your mouth, or tires mired in mud. It wants to climb back under the covers. Maybe watch some TV. Let's call this kind "Stuck." Stuck is just how it sounds. And it feels awful, even when we try to avoid the feeling by snacking, napping, hiding, or distracting ourselves.
The second kind of not going is peaceful and restful. It feels clear and conscious. Being present and not doing makes more sense for the time being. It's sometimes paired with planning or visioning. It's sometimes gearing up for something big. Let's call this kind "Still." Still is quiet on purpose. It's realizing that some of the best ideas only happen when we give ourselves time to percolate, marinate, meditate - time to relax and dream.
I've felt the effects of Spinning, Sauntering, Stuck and Still in recent weeks, and what I know is that I'm so much happier when I'm shifting between sauntering and still. When I'm spinning and stuck, not so much. Here are four simple steps to help you recognize spinning and stuck and move toward sauntering and still.
1. Pay attention. Look closely at exactly what you're doing. Keep a log of your actions (or inactions) - in 15 minute increments, just for a day or two. Be honest! I can get stuck in a Facebook vortex faster than you can say, "kitten video!" And if there's printed matter in front of me, I can read until an hour or two has drifted past. It takes brutal honesty to confront where your time is actually going.
2. Ask yourself if you can align enough of your actions with your larger vision or purpose. If not, then you're probably spinning or stuck. If you don't even know what your larger vision or purpose is, it's probably time to get still and focus on that first.
3. Check in with your body and your emotions. If your feelings are positive and your body feels light, you're more likely sauntering or still. If your feelings are negative and your body feels heavy, you're more likely spinning or stuck. *Warning: Sometimes stuck and spinning can feel positive at first - kind of like the initial sugar high before the crash. Be attentive to your overall emotional state, and the feeling in your body.
4. Reflect at the end of the day, each day for a week. Are you content with the way you spent the day? Can you point to some action or some experience that feels like it's connected with your big picture goals? (Back to #2!) Do you have a nice mix of happy action (Sauntering) and relaxed recharging (Stillness)?
Just having these four categories helps me be honest with what I'm doing. Once I'm aware, I can choose to make a change. It feels great to climb into bed after a day of engaging Sauntering mixed with restorative and reflective Stillness. And it feels like enough. Days like that remind me of the quote I used to have on the wall of my classroom: "Vision without action is only a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world."
How about you? Where do you find yourself spending more time - spinning, sauntering, stuck or still? When you're spinning or stuck, what strategies do you like to use to move back into sauntering or stillness? How do you like to address the voice that says you haven't done enough? Share your ideas in the comments, or email me, and let's continue the conversation!
Rethinking "your one wild and precious life"
You know the quote, right? "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" It's from a poem by Mary Oliver called "The Summer Day". And it's everywhere, including a version in the name of this blog. Here's what's interesting:this line, taken out of context, sounds like a prompt to get rolling. Get going. Do something for goodness sake! Be more productive! Be more! Do more! Succeed! Achieve! Go places! You only have one life after all! YOLO and all that!
However, the poem has a very different tone. The question comes at the end of the poem after Mary explains that she's been sitting watching a grasshopper and strolling through the grass all day, "idle and blessed". The poem seems to challenge the reader to tell her what would have been a better use of her time. Take a moment to read the poem here. Or listen to Mary herself read it here.
Do you feel too busy? Do you feel like your whole calendar is mapped out, weeks or months in advance? As the warm weather of summer arrives, do you wish for time to savor it?
You have a choice. You have a choice to stop to notice the clouds or splash in a puddle, watch a lizard or greet the songbirds. You have a choice to go walking in fields or woods or suburban streets. You have so much more time than you think you have.
So with that in mind and summer at your doorstep, do you have a different answer to Mary's question? What do you want to savor during this wild and precious summer? Email me or share in the comments!
Need some help savoring? Check out Pie in the Sky, my quick and fantastic summer class that will teach you how to savor summer and get some stuff done, too! It's all recorded and ready to go for you, with lots of goodies! Spend just one hour and gain tons of savoring ideas. Details here.
Imagination makes anything possible! I saw it at the airport!
So I recently returned from a convention of life coaches. Over 400 Martha Beck-trained coaches, and Martha herself, basically creating an incredible positive energy vortex around a beautiful high rise hotel in sunny San Diego. On the last day, Martha spoke to us about the power of imagination. And especially the power of imagination in service of love rather than fear. What's possible when we imagine this way is infinitely amazing and wonderful. And sometimes just plain fun, like this cat-certo - a concerto created around a YouTube video of a piano-playing cat!
I ran into a very simple example of the power of imagination in the LAX airport. There's a food vendor there called "Lemonade", and the wall of their dining area is bordered by giant script letters spelling "lemonade lemonade." This isn't that big an engineering feat, I know, but I was amazed. Here's what went through my mind: "Someone had to have the idea of making the wall of the restaurant out of giant script letters. Then they needed to quiet the part of their mind that said, You can't do that - it's silly. Or it's too hard." They imagined it, and then they figured out how to do it.
It's a beautiful concept - a lovely restaurant, and a fresh food oasis in the middle of the airport. I got curious and went to their website and found this - looks like imagination in service of love to me! Yum!
The tricky thing with imagination is how powerful it is. When we get good at using our imaginations and getting out of our own way, it becomes easier and easier to create whatever we envision. Which is amazing! Yet sometimes when we get what we imagined, we realize it's not what we really wanted in the first place. Like all the stories with genies in them, we are taught to be careful what we wish for - we might get it!
Here are some tips to getting what you actually want using your imagination:
1. Begin with your feelings. How do you want to feel? Everything you wish for, from cars to a cool job to a wonderful partner to a beautiful home or a tropical vacation, or even world peace, you wish for because it's going to make you feel a certain way. What you really want is the feeling.
2. Visualize. Use any tool you want - writing, collages, daydreaming - to picture your desire. Be detailed. Be bold. Be even more unreasonable than giant script letters spelling lemonade!
3. Pre-member. Imagine it has already happened. Bask in the glow of your desire and the feeling you get from having it. Feel the fantastic feeling now.
4. Take steps in the real world. Tell people about your desires. (Ok. I will tell you one of mine. My current unrealistic "lemonade lemonade" desire is to bond with big cats but only in a way that doesn't harm or exploit them. I have no idea how this will happen. I really want to hug them but this seems exploitative in just about every scenario I can imagine. Or if it's not exploitative it seems dangerous.) I have many slightly more doable desires that I'm taking steps toward as well. And telling people about. And imagining how they might be possible.
5. Pop back to that feeling again. Any way you can get a taste of it now? The feeling I'm looking for with the big cats is connection - oneness. I can do that with so many species - not just big cats! I can bond with my small cat. I can hang out with the birds, squirrels, turtles and bees in the yard. I can watch videos of beautiful wild big cats. I can learn more about animal communication. Curious what I mean? Check out this gorgeous video of an animal communicator connecting with a black leopard. (I know it might be heavily edited and "storified", but it's still a beautiful video. And there is lots of lion hugging at the beginning!) I can donate to sanctuaries that rescue and don't exploit big cats. You may find a very simple beautiful way to get the feeling you want - without having to create anything complicated!
6. What if you create something you realize you didn't want after all? Maybe your dream job or dream house doesn't feel that way anymore - maybe it's not what you expected. That's ok - start again! Take another direction - try something completely different, or just tweak things slightly to connect you back to the feeling you were looking for. You don't have to stick with what you have just because you created it once - you can try something completely different! That's the power of imagination.
Oh, and if you know of a way I can hang out (unexploitatively) with big cats, let me know!
What? You can fall down twice and still receive a gold medal??
My husband and I were playing Bananagrams and watching the Olympics on Valentine's Day. It was very romantic, really! (And we did the fancy cocktails and treats and assorted other romantic things too. Just so you know.) Anyway, we were watching Mens' Figure Skating. The long program. And this young man in a white and sparkly outfit (19 year old Yuzuru Hanyu of Japan) fell down. Twice. He also leaped and jumped and spun around and did all kinds of things on skates that I couldn't come close to doing, even with no skates and the aid of a very bouncy trampoline.
He received the Mens' Figure Skating gold medal. That's right, he fell down twice and got the gold. My friend Deborah and I were chatting about this the other night and talking about how we both have an old belief system in our heads that "gold medal means perfect". As in flawless. No errors, no mistakes - nothing that anyone can point to as wrong.
But that's not true. Instead, it's about risking a lot. Making big moves that earn points. Falling down loses fewer points than one might imagine. It's so much more about what you actually do accomplish.
Just like life.
We forget this. We are so afraid to risk. Afraid to fall down if we try that big jump. Afraid it will get in our way of the gold medal. But we can't possibly earn a gold medal if we're not willing to fall down. Imagine how many times Yuzuru has fallen as he's learned to skate so well? A thousand? Ten thousand? A hundred thousand? I'm sure it's a lot.
If we're not willing to fall, then we end up in the sidelines watching. We don't engage fully in our lives, afraid to make a mistake that will impact our "score".
Except that it's not the Olympics, and no one is keeping score, and even if they were, we could fall down twice and still get a GOLD MEDAL!
You have to make some mistakes on the road to amazing.
For those of us who got some idea in our heads (probably at school) that mistakes were not ok, this is a revelation we have over and over. I think it needs to be embroidered on a pillow. In pretty script. You can fall down twice and still get a GOLD MEDAL! In the OLYMPICS!
Where can you let yourself do this in your life? Where can you try something new or challenging and allow yourself to fall down?
I've been doing it in dance class with The NOLA Chorus Girl Project. I am learning dances that I can intellectually understand, count out, practice, and sometimes get right, but I regularly mess up. A lot. And I've been practicing and practicing and not actually falling down, but missing steps, counts, whole phrases while I try to catch up. It's fantastic! I practiced enough (a LOT!) to almost get it right at our performance. I missed some steps (ones I'd gotten right dozens of times), but the world did not end. And I kept smiling! (I think!) so I'm giving myself a mental gold medal for that.
I'd love to hear your stories of taking risks or receiving metaphorical gold medals despite "falling". Let's keep the conversation going in the comments!