Tricky brain and grass time

Ok, it's been four days and I've been listening closely to what kinds of little bon mots my brain tosses out there while I'm trying to get things done, stick to my plan and do my work.  If you're just arriving at this post without the background, you might want to begin here: This is what I've been hearing.  Prepare yourself - it's not pretty:

"You know, there's too much to do.  Even if you worked all day, you'll never be done. And then you'll just be working all the time.  Yuck to that!"

"Being efficient is soul sucking.  It's only for boring people who don't have a rich inner life.  Too much neatness is sterile and the sign of an empty mind."

"It's too hard.  You don't have what it takes.  Give up."

"There are too many steps!  Aaaah!  We don't know what to do!"

"Oh, see - that didn't work.  You totally don't know anything about websites."

"Well- you missed doing your ten minute thing on the Fourth of July.  You'll never catch up now. Might as well just avoid everything for another week."

"Wait until Wednesday. Wait until Thursday. Wait until tomorrow. Wait until after lunch. Wait until tonight. Wait until Monday."

"Oh my god.  Look at that list of things you want to write/change/create/tweak.  It's a mile long.  You'll never get all that done in time."

"It's too late. Too late, I tell you!"

"Zzzzzzzzzz."

Ah, yes.  My helpful mind!  Despite its cries, I got some stuff done.  I stuck with my ten minutes per day of working on my last little pile (I doubled up today since I didn't do it yesterday.  It's smaller.  My space is in order, overall.

But, there's stuff on the list that I was really planning to work on.  It's bigger stuff, with multiple steps, and I avoided it.  Here's why.  Everything I've done so far to help myself be more productive is rational and ought to work, but it doesn't completely, just like when people try to lose weight with very reasonable rational diets, and their bodies freak out on them.  My brain is in rebellion mode.  Sabotage mode.  It doesn't trust that I'm not going to become an all work, no play kind of girl.  It remembers how tired we used to be when I was working all the time. It's panicked.  It's resisting any form of discipline.  And my body's not helping much either.  It just wants to sleep.  A lot.  Whether I go to bed early or late.

If my brain and body feel deprived by my time management and task organization "plan", they're going to fight me.  I need a new tool.  As Martha Beck says, I just need to get my brain and body to "join up" with me, much like a horse will follow the lead mare in its herd. And that won't happen when we're in "famine" mode, and all my brain sees are rules about how we're going to spend our time and what we "can't" do, making my body anxious, fidgety and just plain tired.

Because when I'm not relaxed about how my day's going to go, when I'm gritting my teeth or dreading what I've put on my to do list, I'm not particularly productive.  Sure, I can force it and just work anyway, but I'll pay later with that sense from my body and mind that I'm not to be trusted, that this isn't going well, and next time we might as well just go to sleep.

So, how do I get relaxed and get my body and mind to trust that all will be well - that we don't need to go into avoidance napping mode?  By giving them what they want- a safe place to not have to do anything.  I call it "grass time". Ten minutes of quiet out in the grass, with the cats if they happen to be around.  And a couple of mantras - these borrowed or adapted from from Martha Beck's Four Day Win:

"Everything is OK." "I don't have do do anything at all for the next ten minutes." "In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter what I get done today.  It's much more important to be kind than to check things off the to do list.  I'll start by being kind to myself." "If I never changed anything at all about how I get things done, the world would keep revolving." "It's OK to rest."

I'm looking for a relaxation response - a sense from my body and mind that all is well, with easy breathing, relaxed muscles, and a general sense of wellness and peace. Nearby cats always help!

And then, with that peaceful state of mind, I can get to work.

Give it a try and see if ten minutes of really doing nothing gives your body and mind a little more reason to trust you, and a little more interest in happily going about your day with you.

Turtle steps

The way to get anything done is a step at a time.  One little step.  Martha Beck calls them turtle steps.  I don't know about you, but I've been known to act like a rabbit.  Sprint like heck, and then get so pooped out that I abandon everything and nap for a week.  When I act like a turtle and take small steps on a regular basis, I get a lot more accomplished and it's amazing to look back and see what I completed! It's just like hiking the Appalachian Trail - it's five million steps and over 2000 miles--  but you can't think that way - you have to just keep walking a little every day.

Turtles keep coming to find me to remind me to take turtle steps.  And the most recent ones I've seen have also been submerged in muddy water - I wonder what that means?  Don't be afraid to get a little dirty?  Don't be afraid of murkiness?  Go to the spa?

About a week ago I was on a wordless walk with a dear friend and I took her to my favorite tree.  This was the tree where I saw my turtle about two months prior, but I really didn't expect to see her, as she had been sitting on the forest floor a good 30 feet from the tree last time.  Well, apparently my favorite tree might also be hers as well!  We arrived at the base of the tree, and there she was, completely submerged in a mossy puddle made by the tree roots.  We sat for quite a while and she finally moved, sticking her neck out.

I felt very honored to see this wild turtle again - I know they have small home ranges, but it was still mighty special.

Today I worked diligently, but with free time built in too (I've learned that my mind will go into complete and utter rebellion and give up on any system if there isn't some fun built into every day - like a quick dip in the neighborhood pool)  and this evening, who did we see in our garden but our own turtle who lives in the yard?  We rarely see her and there she was, drinking the air conditioning condensation water in our tiny horsetail-planted wetland.

I count these sightings as auspicious messages from the universe.  All is well.  And I'm enjoying life, one step at a time, and savoring as I go.

Too early, too late, too soon, not soon enough

Someone emails you a question, and you read it and know the answer.  You could email them back right away and tell them.  Or your mind might get in the way.  "You're not even supposed to be checking email right now!"  "They'll think you're not busy, just hanging out on your computer if you respond right away!"  "It's 9 p.m. on a Friday night - what will people think if you respond to an email now?  They'll think you don't have a fun social life!"  Oh, Mind, you are so very funny.

Or let's switch to blogging.  You have an idea, some cool photos, a basic plan of what to write.  But then your mind pipes in.  "It's too early to write - let's do some other stuff."  Or, "It's too late - we'll do it tomorrow when we're fresh." Or "That post would make more sense on a Friday and it's only Thursday."  Or "Those photos are from an event last week - who wants to read about that now!  Too late!"

Your somewhat nutty but well-meaning mind has you putting things off, waiting because it's too soon, and then abandoning because - Oh! Now it's too late.

Guess what?  None of it is true.  And it really gets in the way of getting valuable stuff done.

So want a real life example?  (I only know this stuff because my mind has its nutty moments!)  Way back in April, an extraordinary fellow blogger named Jackie featured me in a beautiful Shine post on her site.  And I never really told anyone about it!  Why?  Because of my mind.  First it seemed too soon.  Then I was busy, then I was out of town, then I was out of town again, then it seemed too late.

If this ever happens to you, tell your mind to shhhhh... and do the thing.  It's not too soon. To write your memoirs.  To dust under the bed, even if you did it last week.  To call your mom.  To try that business idea.  Or if you don't do it and your mind says it's too late, again tell your mind hush.  It's not too late.  To send the thank you note.  To organize your finances.  To plan that vacation you've been dreaming of. To start taking care of your body.

So, without further ado, here's the link to a Q&A session with Jackie - I loved her questions and loved doing this interview!  Perhaps reading this link is exactly what you need today, and that's why I'm posting it, two months later in June.  That's what I'm believing tonight.  Thanks again, Jackie for the insightful questions!